Today I helped out in my first ever hawker fare organised by our unit. Like all events that I ever took part in, it was a refreshing break from the normal routine of life. And like always, it turned out to be yet another great experience in my retinue of events participation.
Talking about that makes me miss my school orientation a little more.
Anyway, we started preparation yesterday (with tons of rest in between). My role in the event was mainly helping out with the kitchen operations and attending to the guests while they are drinking or eating. Simple jobs, but as usual served with passion.
Cooking may always seem glamorous and exciting when you look at the end product. But the actual process includes tedious preparation, post clean up and lots of other boring, mundane steps. I have always been interested in cooking, and fortunately, while doing the ugly side of cooking these few days, I wasn't really turned off at all or anything.
I think my hobby got some hope, but not until I go home to have a kitchen of my own. :)
Event kicked off and it was a mini social event like those you see in movies. People in suits turn up and we start serving cocktails and munchies while they exchange business cards. All very corporate world like.
And I had a little thinking to myself that I would partake in such events VERY frequently in the future. I'm looking forward to my own business card!
In addition, experiencing such events as a third party makes me realise how much I have yet to experience in life. It makes me feel that my current worries/troubles/agonies are mere childish plays in the grand stage that is life.
It makes me grow up, even for a very little bit.
Every night that arrives gives me stars to gaze upon, and realise these are the stars that can too be viewed from home. I miss home.
Xiao Huang finally came back yesterday, after almost one month of absence.
It's good to have him prowling with us again!
Nowadays we have four dogs walking with us instead of just two.
Sometimes, we have that nostalgia for times long past gone. It is especially prominent when we go through old photos, experience a moment of deja vu or simply miss something or someone a lot.
Sometimes, we try harder and harder, just to gain that next 1000 dollars, get higher grades and generally increase the quality of our lives.
I think for the remaining of the times, we should slow down, stand still and appreciate what we already have, what we already are.
Only in these moments can someone like you get out of the rat race. Only during these moments can we find peace.
1. I love myself and who I am born to be.
2. I love my family, my background and my raising.
3. I love my ex-college and I have opportunities to go back year after year.
4. I love my friends, of close ones I have many, whom all live close by and provide support despite the mistakes I make.
5. I got good enough A level grades.
6. I got a future in a local business university.
7. I'm healthy.
8. I'm not obese.
9. I am proficient in both English and Chinese.
10. I'm not ugly.
And the list goes on and on...
Listing 10 things I appreciate in my life everyday gives me the hope that there is an end to all this constant striving.
Guard duties after guard duties after guard duties...
I'm drained.
I'm looking forward to Ivy's trip to Taiwan!
My new roommate is someone named Lee Kok Yong. Both storeman. Both NSF. Something coincidentally similar, isn't it?
Today is my first of 4 guard duties in these two weeks. In addition, there's tons of work to be done and some big changes to my workplace are taking place. I have no doubt I would definitely be "sufficiently" challenged in the days ahead.
:(
Well, at least my winter blanket is back. No more cold, shivering nights!
:)
I'm lucky that ever since I landed in Taiwan, the temperature has gotten a little back to normal ever since the "blizzard" they said happened the weeks I was gone. But my sleep didn't go too well with the lack of my winter blanket. My feet were always cold and the blanket always felt too thin and small, leading to me waking up multiple times in the night.
But thank goodness today is Sunday. I'm just going to stay in camp and study up for an upcoming test. Maybe do some reading of my long-abandoned books as well. I really need a traditional Chinese dictionary!
Seniors keep telling me that it's going to be a tough time ahead. In a way, getting busy is good. I love to keep busy. It kills time and bring me ever closer to home. Moreover I don't want to end up learning nothing in these 10 months.
I really wish to be a better man in the months ahead.
I thought leaving a second time would be easy because I had already established my "second home" here and there would be less uncertainties around. Boy, was I wrong. I found it more difficult after genuinely spending time with such great friends.
Frankly, in these 14 days, because of the lack of time, I have dared to bare myself out and talk soul to soul with many of my friends who once just acquaintences. Suffice to say, I am a very very lucky man, and the friends whom I have has served to be a healing force in my messed up life.
I'm good now. I did my ironing of my clothes and a lot of folding. I ate dinner, avoiding spending recklessly on my first day in Taiwan and didn't ask anyone out for clubbing. I'm really good now.
10 months is a long time. I will miss you all, my friends.
Really.
Thanks for being there.
And special thanks to Wei Liang, Wei Yuan, Sin Kuan, Kai Quan, Sin Yee, Leena and Jasmine for showing up to give me a warm send off today. You all have no idea how much it helps.
I wouldn't disappoint you people again!
I packed 90 per cent of my luggage already. And the thing with packing luggage is, I alway worry over what I accidentally leave behind.
Time really flies when one is enjoying. Damn cliche statement I know. Without noticing, 12 days have passed so quickly, and tomorrow at 1.10pm I would be flying off back to my second home already!
I need to explain something. I have only passed 3 months of my tour of duty, and my official end of tour date is 28 October 2008, which is more or less 8 months from now. I planned to extend 2 more months and bring my remaining time in the "Singapore army" to less than 1 month.
My reason is I don't want to keep switching jobs, and the other is, I'm really afraid to go back to my old unit. :(
So in total, if my application for extension succeeds, I would have a total of 10 months left in Taiwan, which is very long compared to the 3 months I have already spent here.
Many would claim I am damn dumb to choose home leave to be set so early. But truth is, I have a feeling I was right to come home, to be among friends and family again, and most importantly reclaim my values and my due rights.
No doubt many of you have noticed I have gone a little astray in Taiwan. These 12 days have taught a lot of lessons... NO... wait, it was more of a refresher course in a different context than new lessons. I have seemingly forgotten the values who made me who I am today.
I'm really damn lucky to have many, many friends whom I now really consider true friends as of now.
To all my friends whom I consider as true, do keep in contact, keep safe and let us grow together again when I come back.
To all my acquaintences, if fate and interests would allow, our friendship shall blossom.
And this is my overseas number just in case:
+886917948488
My official email in which I do reply messages:
leekokmun@hotmail.com
And that is also my MSN!
Till then, see ya!
I realised from very early on that if I were to achieve my many goals, I would require a lot more discipline in my life. Army seemingly multiplied my problems, my desires and my addictions a thousandfold simply because of bad influences, too much free time and I think I can get away with whatever I do.
There is a need to get up early everyday, not switch on the laptop immediately and go exercising, followed by breakfast and finally reading of the daily papers. This was once my daily routine. Now it has become something I would do tomorrow, and tomorrow, till tomorrow becomes eternity's end.
I need to sit down and get clear about my life. And more importantly, I need to stop procrastinating and start acting on my words.
I want to make money!
Dad's retiring soon.
NTU fees are going up.
Recession is coming.
Mum's health not that good.
I really need to indulge in making money.
I realised army life made me lose out on my social life.
But suddenly SMACK! I was reminded of Leena's face, saying "Why emo again? Book in also emo? Go Taiwan also emo? Already need to do this might as well not be emo and enjoy your last days!"
Okay, no emo-ing.
Had an uber dramatic dream just now.
Was at a ball with a girl, who happens to have a super rich dad. Apparently we were in Taiwan and the dad was one of the richest person in the country.
She ate too much, and we decided to hang out at some chatting lounge behind the hotel.
Suddenly she had the shivers.
Like in dramas, I carried her out in the rain, and was literally screaming for an ambulance. But until I woke up... It never came.
I freaking hate my stupid phone. I can't even name the model name and that shows how much I care for the $60 plus bucks worth of metal. The day I ORD will be the day I get my ultimate camera phone with laser beams and swiss army knives.
"cui" - defined as a syndrome in which one is either haggard, looks stupid, dumb, lousy, blur, and one thousand other uses, extremely versatile in useage
CUI ONE - Sin Kuan a.k.a BIG HEAD
CUI TWO - Me a.k.a HANDSOME BOY
CUI THREE - Leena a.k.a FAT WHEN YOUNG
The cui gang dropped down to Hey Hey Hotpot for dinner. It was more of an opportunity to get to see THREE and suan more of ONE. All I got was some bruises and the after taste of strawberry cheesecake.
Turned out buffet was not ongoing during Chinese New Year and thus we had to settle for "blardy" expensive food instead. And with Terence Cao's absence, it was actually not very worth it.
I just love the custard balls.
So we decided to head to Ben & Jerry to have some ice cream. Turns out the girls pulled a disappearing act on me at Adidas the stop before. Weird thing was, I anticipated them doing that. Too typical, women.
There was a yellow shirt chio bu who was damn cute. Blue shirt chio bu was not my type. Yellow shirt made me melt with her smiles.
They had to mix up the flavours and cause me to ACCIDENTALLY eat the strawberry cheesecake one. Damn CUI after that. But yellow shirt made it all worth it. :)
Leena had to take the cab, so that was another bomb. Bomb after bomb nowadays, I'm not sure how long my finances can last.
We dropped by Leena's house at the last stop. Her collection of trophies inspires but it was not very inspirational when my precious digicam memory card got stuck in her laptop. I nearly tore my heart out. Thank goodness Big Head tore the card out first.
It still works! :)
And I laughed at THREE's childhood photo.
Regular sending of ONE back home. And for the first time in a long while... I managed to send everyone back home safely. :)
I'm grateful for yet another two friends today. It's been traumatising to see some of my friends' doubtful eyes on my history in Taiwan. Nonetheless I am guilty for all my crimes, and I will find repentence in some way.
Till then, thank you Leena and Sin Kuan for spending dinner with me!
See you girls 10 months later!
I don't know if this is racist or not, but Chinese (I mean China) seemed to have the best service and Singapore one of the lousiest. It was apparently due to the fact that I had two heaven and hell restaurants back to back the past two days.
First, I dine at Ju Ju, a fine Japanese-styled restaruant served by mostly Chinese waitresses and waiters. The food was good, that was one thing. The thing I'm really proud about was... they anticipated my demands before I even realised it.
It was like... the waiters and waitresses would be nearby and when they noticed that you are using up the chilli especially fast or the steamboat is boiling too rapidly, they would rushed in and do whatever's necessary.
It reminded me of being an OGL, where our singleminded purpose was make the campers happy. For them, it was to make the customer happy and this would sometimes involve one pretty lady coming to chat with us. Oops.
In Taiwan, shopkeepers are mostly very friendly too. They would often chat with you, and in my case, ask me where I am from. It is from these friendly chats and many smiles that sometimes motivate me to buy things. Then again, some are friendly but seemed to say the wrong stuff all the time.
The huge difference in Singapore is that they don't welcome you when you stepped into a shop and they don't tag to you like bees to honey as you shop around. In a way, there is great freedom and all. But sometimes, we do need a little smile and some friendly exchange of banter to make our dull day a little better.
Maybe this is the reason why Taiwanese is a friendly nation. You do unto others what others do unto you.
And I'm going back in less than 5 days.
I always, always is in awe of Nattaporn, Apple and Jin Hong, so much so that I sometimes wonder why would they want me as a friend. That's because I believed I am way below their standards in terms of achievement, intelligence, leadership and social life.
Yet, it is always enjoyable going out with them and hearing their stories. Somewhere deep down, I have a urge to have deeper friendships with them, because they are all people I sincerely respect. They are in many ways, role models for my struggling boy soul. I really cherish them more than words can express it.
No matter how much I have experienced in Taiwan, I felt I had no excuses for the things I did, just by seeing how they handled it better than me. In my eyes, they have become living pillars of hope and strength from which I draw tonight. I aspire to grow like them, to be strong, faithful, capable etc etc.
Have I ever told you I was super afraid of Nattaporn back then when I didn't knew her? There was no way I could have guess that we could have become genuine friends like now. It's a little magical, this friendship... And I'm really thankful for her presence in my life.
Another person I grew to respect recently is none other than my long term friend, Sin Kuan. Though she really has a large head... Okay, don't beat me, Sin Kuan.
We started genuinely talking on MSN and on the phone for the first time about less than a few months back (I called her to really talk only this week). As you know, long conversations would normally lead to hearty affairs. And only now, after 7 years of friendship, do I realise that she's an extremely cheerful, strong and wise person.
Okay, maybe it was because I never really took the effort to go know her better.
And there are many, many close friends whom I really cherish. There are also some who are starting to confide matters of the heart to me and vice versa and thus I'm super looking forward to adding them to my family of genuine friends.
Nonetheless, the bottom line is... friends is a MAJOR part of my life.
I want to go back to school again.
I want to do orientation camps.
I want to have my own class of people.
I miss meeting new people.
I need that magic in my life.
I'm looking forward to university.
Freshmen camps.
CCAs. Student unions. Groups.
Hall life.
Business schools.
Volunteering.
Maybe, just maybe, church.
Infinite outings!
I want more photos of my friends too!
Er, by the way,
Can I get naivety back too?
It's been near to one week, and all I can say is, I LOVE MY FRIENDS!
Ok, fine, enough with the mushy emo crap.
Get on with the dirt, the footage I mean.
Grand OG21 homecoming. They didn't tell me they waited 7 hours for me at the airport, and my flight being 2am, there's something to hug them all about!
I never forget you la, Wei Yuan.
As usual, girl buddy Jessica is always there for me! Hanging out at void decks playing music on handphone loudspeakers: A enjoyment I just discovered!
And where can you find friends who are willing to say yes to KBox at 11pm in the night?
Keeping in touch with old friends... VERY IMPORTANT!
And for today, thank you to Yi Fan and Kenneth for making my otherwise boring Chu Yi a splendid one! :)
It all began... with a heartbreak.
It led to curiousity as to why it was a heartbreak.
And curiousity led to questioning and listening.
But they were the wrong sources all.
Thus, deeper and deeper I went.
First, a new lifestyle.
But staying in Singapore didn't help much to my new lifestyle.
I found solace in exodus.
I fled.
And I changed.
Because my friends weren't there to keep me for who I am.
I was wrong, damn wrong.
I stopped being idealistic.
I stopped fantasising.
I stopped changing.
I'm here, tonight, to become who I am.
Yes, I may be boring.
I don't pursue power, hot babes nor wealth.
I don't pursue fame, acknowledgement nor attention.
Tonight I pursue ordinaryness.
I choose, and this is my choice.
Because from the ordinary stems genuine and sincere feelings,
Feelings that generate rewards that is enough.
I realised that even though I was clubbing, rich and in contact with hot babes in Taiwan,
I wasn't happy.
I was happiest... back in JC.
When I was focused on my studies,
Genuine in my efforts towards orientation,
Kind and nice towards my friends,
Sincere towards the welfare of my class.
That was when... I was happiest in my life. Really.
And thus, let me be ordinary.
Please.
Being home, being in familiar surroundings reminds me of who I used to be. Talking to friends, listening to them, makes me realise how much I have turned for the worst. I didn't reveal to them everything, though rumors are spreading so rapidly that my reputation is more or less in the bin.
Nonetheless, I still have the stand strongly that it was all merely something I HAD to go through to understand some things. Put in an analogy, how does a hero save the world if he does not go through what the world suffers? In my personal story, I am the main character. I suffer, I learn and I grow up with understanding of that dark side of the world. Point taken?
Not that I'm trying to salvage any nice guy reputation anymore. I'm greatful for whoever who still dares to contact me, despite all the things you hear.
The next ten months would not be uncertain. It's going to be quite a well planned out thing by me, I swear.
