Still Searching For The Warmth In Life :)

I have to admit she's the cutest dog I have ever seen. I'm addicted to taking pictures and videos of her ever since I first saw her.

Girlfriend has penchant and weakness for dogs that I slightly understand. Back in her hometown, her family owns more than 40 dogs, with that being achievable by placing them in a large metal scrapyard.

So, once again, when a friend of hers mentioned that he/she has a new puppy ready for sale, she just can't help getting this new one when there's so many new ones already. I have a feeling she will buy all the dogs in the world if she could.

Nonetheless, earlier decisions about raising the dog and selling it to another buyer has been ditched because she found her too cute to resist already. Well... Actually, I don't mind. Having a cute puppy around makes one feel less lonely, despite the immense poop it lets off everyday.

Hey guys! I will be returning home on December 18. It would probably be a morning flight, which means I will probably have to wake up at 4am to get to the airport. Considering my plane lifts off at 7am, I will reach Singapore at around 11-12pm.

I finished packing 4 boxes of personal belongings which I would ship back home on Monday, and them reaching Singapore 20 days later. It's an incredibly exhilarating moment, as you take piece and piece of what stuck with you throughout the entire year here back home. You have no idea how long I waited to do this.

Thinking of the MacDonald hotcakes I can easily have every morning, my favorite laksa two blocks away, my calming and soothing runs all the way into NTU, my fast wireless home network... And the list can go on and on.

Anyway, it has been also an incredible pain for me as I dread the day I would no longer see and touch someone I fell in love with in Taiwan. Unfortunately, in life, shit happens and you got to learn how to deal with it. I'm not sure what will happen as months pass by with my new life in Singapore. And I'm even more unsure of the promise I made to her: that I would come back after 5 years, a different man.

In truth, I blame myself for causing her such pain. This is among the most foolish and inconsiderate thing I have done in my entire life.

For most of you who have talked to me on MSN and I have not replied, I deeply apologised because I left my laptop in the hands of someone else. As such, there are times when she would sign on into my account accidentally when I'm not around.

And many of you would no doubt be wondering who this person is that I would leave one of my most treasured possessions with. Yes, I just got attached, in the worst of times. Our relationship would only perhaps last until December 19. Both of us know that. I'm not so evil to deny her any truth.

I did consider bringing her home to Singapore. But after much logical thought, I realised that was a pretty crazy thing since I would soon lose my only income stream very soon. Moreover, what would happen if things between us don't work out?

I even wanted to extend my work here to May 2009 just to prolong the happy days here. And again, it's crazy. My parents furiously objected. The army didn't want my service anymore.

I had a lot of crazy thoughts in my honeymoon age of love. I guess it's normal.

I'm learning a lot of things now. And of all the lessons I am learning, the most significant ones are that of my adult capability.

I feel pretty helpless and useless to be without income, legal age, a CPF account, alternative sources of income, a house of my own etc. No doubt, many of you would think I am too young to worry about such things now. But when charged with the responsibility and desire to take care of someone who you care about, you suddenly feel all these things are very, very important.

Thanks mum and dad, for ensuring I had the best education they could afford to give me. Now that I have a guaranteed place in the university, all I have to do is to obtain a good degree and logically, a good starting career. Then, without making any stupid moves, I would probably have the capability to support myself and others within 3 years.

I want to grow up, fast. And I'm not just going to be a full time student in university.

Thank God for the spare key. I'm back safely. :)

Tonight, a new US president shall be voted into office.

Tomorrow, the world changes.

Highs and lows, all in the name of love.

How many songs are there related somewhat to the concept of love? How many dramas and movies have their main characters falling in love? How many commercial gimmicks are centred on love? Hell, we even have a day devoted to love, Valentine's day.

Is it really that important? Can someone actually remain single all their life?

I'm a adult in almost everything now, but I'm still a kid at heart when it comes to loving.

I'm no longer a child to be angry and disappointed at sudden change of plans in a day's outing. Controlling your emotions is paramount to stepping onto the path of being a full grown adult. And I know that even as I type this, it's fast approaching that I must watch my steps with other people's emotions as well.

There is no future in us. Yet, we blindly fall in love. Knowing all the pain that will soon occur, we still stupidly do the things couples would do.

Is the reason to all these the fact that we are human?