With less than 4 days left in Taiwan, I'm spending every minute I can with her, despite it being a terrible drain on myself. Juggling between passing on almost impossible amount of teachings to my understudy and rushing off to meet her, I'm slowly dreading my remaining days here. To make matters worse, I'm starting to see the many positive sides of Taiwan now that I'm leaving.
My work aspect is a big problem because both me and my boss is leaving at the same time. As such, there would be no one to consult regarding paperwork issues if there was ever any problem. With the magnitude and range of different procedures and scenarios, I think there's bound to be many cases where they will miss out some steps or don't even know what to do. In truth, I think my store is pretty screwed up now, and the only possible redemption was to delay one of us, but now it's too late too.
Work matters would be easy to forget once I'm back in Singapore. After all, if I had done my best and learn all I could, there's really no regrets about my experience here in camp. I'm in fact looking forward to my next job, which no doubt with my increased experience in life, would be a much efficient and well-controlled one. You see, I'm a perfectionist and I like things done perfectly or as close to perfection as possible. My store is far from perfect, but having that vision in mind is a running engine in itself for my daily routines.
I still do not know my flight timing yet, though it is stated to be roughly in the morning. I should reach Singapore at around noon.
I hope things will get better once everything is settled down in Singapore, at least for the next 3 years.
In 7 days, I would be gone from Taiwan and most significantly her. It's going to be hard to deal with such distance, but both of us are preparing our minds for it. We have discussed endless scenarios over the past few days, like what if she found a guy she really like...
In the end, there's really nothing to worry about but just to keep communicating and for my part, continue to encourage her for a healthier lifestyle and pursue my education and growth in my early adulthood.
And yes, speaking of adulthood, I'm turning 21 in 4 months time!
Now, should I have a mega party? :)
I realise the most important thing now is to look at the positive side of all things. Although I'm really fearing the feeling of not having her beside me at all times for at least 4 years, it's no longer a choice I can make.
I should just concentrate on my studies and career first. Even if this relationship doesn't work out in the end, at least it has been a motivator for my business honours.
I have almost no mood to work today. I had to admit, I totally stoned in office till it was time for dinner. In truth, I'm just waiting for the guy who would replace me to arrive.
Then again, I don't really want that day to come. That's what I call mixed feelings. :(
Oh ya, I think it's due time for a class reunion of sort for 05S12. I'm sure there will be some interesting stories to tell! Too bad Jason is off in Australia. Well, let's still make it a good reunion though!
If it would make me feel better and is a way out of this mess, I would live a life of idealism even more strongly now. I will seek comfort in accomplishing one difficult thing after another, things I hardly believe to be possible of me previously. That way, I will keep my faith up.
Yes, I'm that desperate. Regardless of the advice countless friends would give me in the months ahead that this relationship would not be fruitful, I would still continue pursue it until events render it unfeasible.
I'm sorry to talk about my relationship in such a manner so soon on this blog. However, it is mostly what I am thinking about these days. And it has become so intense that it has block out all my joy for homecoming.
Don't worry though. I still look forward to meeting everyone back in Singapore! And yes, my dear food too. It's going to be easy for me to adjust to a long distance relationship. But not her. I hope her maturity will aid her in this manner.
On to other matters...
Have I told you I bought a MacBook recently? Yes, it's incredibly addictive to use because both the laptop itself and the graphical OS X are such a work of artistic genius. There's no way I'm converting back to a PC or normal laptop for quite a long time. Apple Inc. has won me over with their beautiful crafting and ingenius user interface.
The sad thing is, I don't get wireless in camp. So I always have to head out for a 15 minutes work to get some connection to my laptop. It doesn't help matters that I heard our common computers would be without internet access tomorrow because of ongoing renovations. I'm so definitely taking my dear MacBook out for a walk tomorrow.
Although I'm having all the hates for Microsoft now, I can't help but marvel at the complexity of Microsoft Office. Figuring how macros work took me some time and looking at how complicated excel spreadsheets work with PivotTable system and all, it really got me dizzy. Still, I'm pretty interested to learn some associated skill!
Let's hope I can truly get some productive work going on tomorrow!
